my goal is to be able to just chill, and surf old school on 7-9ft boards on waves that are probably not bigger than 5ft. right now i just want to have the courage to paddle out and surf nice 1-3 foot waves on my 7/8ft soft top. the issue isn't really standing up or balancing because i'm very sturdy with balance, and haven't had any problems standing up when surfing (besides that the waves were probably 1ft or smaller, very slow and i would have to jump off from the slowness). my issue is getting comfortable with not feeling the bottom, comfortable with the ocean life, and more understanding of waves, currents, tides, sandbars, etc.
this is what i want to get to:


i'm wondering how deep the ocean is where these small waves break, and also where the lineup typically is, because knowing would make me feel more comfortable. did any of you experience these fears in the beginning? how did you get over it? i live by malibu and typically go to zuma, but want to surf at first point (which looks pretty relaxed + it's mostly longboarders). should i just practice swimming first before going out? i'm not as good as i used to be, which was a little better than decent before (when i was swimming a lot for jr lifegaurds). i can't tread water that well and i've been easily panicked lately, so i'm afraid that if something happened i would react with panic. every time i've gone out to try to surf lately (probably only 1-3 times), i can't get myself to paddle out, or the conditions will be too bad, or i'll cut my feet on the rocky bottom at zuma. i got myself to paddle out just a bit once and then i tried to feel the bottom, and when i couldn't, i kind of freaked out. even though i understand all the rules of the lineup, i don't really want to go to a more surf designated beach since i'm not comfortable with paddling out, and look stupid trying and failing.
i want to get over this because i love the ocean and think about surfing all the time! i just bought a soft rack system too so i can pack my board on the car easily. any advice/experiences would be great, thank you!