Would you support a "Zone of Acceptance" here?

[Sar]

Hmmmm I think the debates that get heated around here are pretty much always resolved peacefully, and THATS what makes the forum amazing. People can have a rant and get other peoples backs up and say at the end either 'thanks you have changed my opinion on that' or 'sorry we are going to have to disagree'.

I definatley agree that if you are posting on a sensitive subject then you should think hard about whether its appropriate and how to word it in the most tactful way.

I dont think there should be any changes to the forum, it works so why change it, theres nothing wrong with a bit of healthy debate, generally it broadens everybodys mind, which is what this whole internet malarky is about for me.

....what she said.

I like the debates because you can get some informed info on topics that u may know little about and no-one on this forum intentionally causes offence - not that ive seen anyway

[CheeZee]

nope never intentionally offend ... did i mention that Bournemouth sux and all the gurls down there smell like wee ...

[ginat]

Can i apologise to anyone that i offended with the other thread, but this is an open forum and worldwide. I should have chosen some of my words more carefully.

You didn't so much offend me as you did bruise me. But, I accept your apology. Words hurt though and once they are out there it is too late to take them back which is why I'm proposing just an agreement not to go there. And no, I don't want to talk badly about your country, ever. I too have met your countrymen and found them to be among the most delightful people I've ever met and I respect your people's right to run your country, for better or worse, the best way you know how.

[ginat]

nope never intentionally offend ... did i mention that Bournemouth sux and all the gurls down there smell like wee ...

Dude, I'm going to get personal now... You are goofy!

[RJD]

That's a loaded topic-- am I, as an American, responsible for my government

But are you? GWB didnt (aparently) gain the majority of votes.

As a British Ex Pat my government helped out with the Iraq war yet I have never voted for them, and the majority of the country didnt vote for them.

For some reason political leaders dont often act in the intrests of the country as a whole, I certainly wouldnt like to be blamed for New Labour, and I definatly separate a countries politicials (esp UK/US) fro its people.

Politicaly I'm appaled at what Labour have done in the UK and internationaly, and have likewise similar view of the US political system, cash, oil & loby groups have the power, not people.

[northswell]

Does this forum need a soap box section? No!

I think this and the other "debate" have all been handled in a typical, as far as i'm concerned and as a relative newcomer, in a friendly manner.
No pointing fingers, well not too much, not too many wagging tails, just honest opinions of what are diffrent peoples views on the world.

[Otter]

Yes, and isn't open discussion the path to understanding?

Why can't we all just get a Longboard?

[libby]

Exactly, everyone has a sore point.

The 'dispatches greenwash' thread made me want to tear my hair out, really made me angry/upset and i certainly thought people needed to learn more before they posted BUT not for a second did think people should have not posted their opinions.

Ginat- i think its awsome that you have brought up a discussion about this seen as its bothering you but i think it would ruin the forum to remove these threads or put them somewhere else.

[WooD]

This is without a doubt the most laid back mellow forum / message board, I've ever been on.

The message board I hang out on most is a local one here in St. Augustine. Things got so bad one time the owner shut it down for a couple weeks.

On that board if you don't play by the rules, you get a warning box under your avatar. If you get 5 boxes your ISP gets banned. I have 4 boxes.

As far as the US goes, we are a messed up bunch.

[PapaW]

Wasn't going to put my pence in but I thought I might as well...

Its that dilema of censorship... authought the forume does have a dregree of control in the sence that profanities are "fleshed" and obivously we don't allow gratious porn, spam, companies to advertise etc etc Thoese forms of censorship are mearly enforcing a level of manners and ettituqe that we all use in gerneral socitiy...
By censoring opinion on the bases that *some* people may find it offensive or upsetting is no different from a dictaorship.

[chris fixxy]

I quite enjoy the honest and open debate on here.

I dont think as a country you should be shielded from what elements of the world think of you, be that wrong or right.

A zone of acceptable by implication stifles debtate.

I think northswell raised alot of interesting points by playing devils advocate in that thread.

[ginat]

First off, I respect this board and its members very much and that's why I chose to say something. If it was another site full of jerks it wouldn't even be worth a mention.

Some of you keep saying you want an honest and open debate and that's what you value here. I agree. But I don't think honesty should never include things that are just meant to poke fun at someone else's expense. For example, I'd NEVER tell a friend that their kid was ugly or they look fat in that swimsuit just because I honestly felt it. That's not honesty, it's just being cruel for my gratification.

I have never I asked for a special section or for censorship. What I have tried to advocate for is self restraint-- personal responsibility. People know when they are writing something that is patently offensive to others but I think the thrill of knocking somebody gets in the way of good judgment sometimes. Sure, there is the occassional time when we have all said or done something quickly and have been completely unaware before doing it that it was going to hurt someone. But when you are taking the time to write something I think we all have time to give an extra moment of reflection before posting.

Censorship is bad. There, said it. Self restraint is good.

One last (really) thing, it is a zone of acceptance I ask for not a zone of acceptable. They are different. What it means to me is that I say to you that I'm accepting you no matter who you are, where you come from, what you do for a living, how great a surfer you are or are not, whatever. And, I'm promising to you that I'm not going to take a cheap shot at you based on any of that even if it would be fun for me for awhile. Geez, I think what I'm really proposing to you all is marriage! At least that's how we run our marriage and it's worked really well for well over a decade and a half.

[libby]

But poking fun at people is what Brits do best!

[Jimi]

Well said... There is a very big distinction between being rude by having fun at somebody else's expense, and putting forth controversial arguments.

I condone controversy, even if it may be at the expense of the government of another country (Especially at the expense of J. Howard, G W Bush or T Blair) however I totally disagree with making generalised comments aimed at making citizens of these countries feel uncomfortable.

Lets just remember you needn't be rude to make a point, but sometimes healthy discussion will strongly offend other readers.

It's a fine line, but often tact can make a big difference.

[Phil]

But poking fun at people is what Brits do best!

exactly evey nation takes the piss out of every other nation

if i call the french a bunch of snail eating surrender monkeys i mean it as a harmless joke, we take the piss out of them they take the piss out of us, its all harmless

seriously though the world is becoming far to politicly correct its rediculus you cant even have a laugh any more without some one taking offence to it

[^*^BATMAN^*^]

But I don't think honesty should never include things that are just meant to poke fun at someone else's expense. For example, I'd NEVER tell a friend that their kid was ugly or they look fat in that swimsuit just because I honestly felt it. That's not honesty, it's just being cruel for my gratification.

Man, that is not honesty, that is lieing for someone elses feelings. Honesty is talling them the truth, now the ugly baby thing is a bit much. Telling someone that they look fat.....well if its the truth, then ya....

though the world is becoming far to politicly correct its rediculus you cant even have a laugh any more without some one taking offence to it

You have no idea dude. Canada is horrible for their PC crap. I am sick of it....Like for example, we used to do training in FIBUA(Fighting in Built Up Areas), now the military paid to have all the training changed to OBUA(Operations in Built Up Areas), no tactical change in doctrine, just the name.....cus we dont 'fight'......





Ok, talking about honesty.....if you are not grown up enough to be able to take what someone else is saying about your country in stride, then man.....GROW UP....I am not sorry if this offends you, i deal with this crap alot being an instructor for the military. People think that you offended their little sensibilities, so they have to give you all kinds of xxxxx about it. People say all kinds of xxxxx about other countries....I would put alot of money on it that at someone point and time in your life Ginat you have said something about another country/town/state/county/ect.... Not calling you on anything, just saying that EVERYONE does it, so get over it. I get called all kinds of xxxxx for where i live, the job path i chose, let it go......

[ginat]

Batman, I used to work at the place that actually invented pc. As a transplanted Southern girl, it was hard to hear how I had to not judge anybody else but I couldn't play country music in my office because it seemed lower class. I don't think much of the pc movement myself because of the experience.

But, using your rationale, it would seem everything should be up for grabs in a perfectly honest world-- ugly babies, fat women, snail eating surrenderers, even while in your company and while you were claiming them as friends. Perhaps even your parents are good people to practice perfect honesty with. Telling them how they annoy the hell out of you sometimes by just breathing, and how you really would rather spend time with your dog than go to their house sometimes for a visit would also be a great place for perfect honesty. Give it a whirl and let me know how it goes. Surely they will appreciate the opportunity to have an honest dialogue with you too. Try it with a spouse or kid too by telling them how they don't live up to your expectations and how you find them peculiar in certain ways.

The truth is, unless you are socially inept, we all hold our tongue at times to get along better in the long run with people. Clinging to the internet as some last place where you can take shots at people with abandon is getting old.

[^*^BATMAN^*^]

I am not so much saying to do that. I know that for the purpose of a peacefull(relative) society, you shut your mouth on alot of things. Just saying that you said it is not honesty, but being cruel for my gratification...I dont think it is. Then again it is all situational dependent. If there is a reason to be saying that then sure. I am one of the most not insulting people out there. Though i am starting to get sick with the lengths people will go to just to not insult one particular minority. Not saying you shouldnt try and appease people, just that people dont get the fact that you will not, nor will you ever make EVERYone happy with everything you say/do.

[CheeZee]

As a transplanted Southern girl

..apologies for all my responses which began or ended in " dude "

[CheeZee]

if i call the french a bunch of snail eating surrender monkeys

.. ( outrageous french accent) .. " iz ok , your father was a hamster and your mother smelt of elderberries ... now go away before i taunt you a second time .. you stupid english ker-niggit " .. lmao