List of Murphy's Surfing Laws:

[parrysurf]

1) Finally got my new board...longest flat spell on record!!
2) Broke my only board....surf is on fire for weeks!!
3) Wish I could get some work....surf is flat, wind is onshore!!
4) So busy at work can't catch my breath.....surf alert!!
5) Long awaited surf vacation....."wow man you should have been here last week!!"
6) Car breaks on the way to the beach....all time conditions just out of reach!!
7) Great waves, just picked up my repaired board, first wave, big backside drop, hard bottom turn, foot driving into tail at the apex of the turn......foot slipped back off the tail and the fresh repair tore off along with most of my big toe!!
8. Quality time with wife...tropical trip not for surf, no board...show up to spend a week in front of ripable waves and warm water.
9)Trade morning shift for a night one to get the good swell....morning sick texture gives way to a nice late afternoon of waves while working!

any others come to mind??
these are things I have had happen, or felt like were happening to me

[jaktequila]

Okay, real stories.

1) Sold my old beloved board to get a new one......way too small!
2) Put on zinc like a war face paint......arrived at the beach just to see the worst ever conditions and had to go home.
3) Got out with just boardshorts in summer, no underwear......forgot that this pair has a big hole at the crotch. (realised it when got home)
4) Got back from a trip, went surfing my home break next day, forgot that my leash wasn't attached to the board......realised it after the first wave. Too late.
5) Saw a hot young blonde surfer girl, wanted to show off my skills......got dropped in on by the b****, didn't even look at me

[billie_morini]

another real one.

Forget leash (again). Walk to shop and buy new one (again). Return to car and remember emergency leash stowed in tire well

[surferdude_scarborough]

Long awaited surf holiday... its going off at home.

[IB_Surfer]

New board? Post a pic

[dtc]

1. its only waist high, so no need to paddle very hard. Perl and somersault.

2. the first two waves are great but you are still warming up and don't do anything much. Then the tide goes in/out just enough, the wind picks up/drops off - or something. You spend the next hour paddling up and down the beach trying to find a wave. Eventually give up. As you are standing on the sand warming up, someone else heads in and immediately starts catching long peeling waves that have appeared out of nowhere. (note: this happens to me so often I'm beginning to think it may be related to the surfer rather than the waves...)

3. you drive to your favourite beach break, only to discover a storm has moved all the sand bars and there is nothing. Or huge dumpers. Or huge weed patches. Or all of the above.

4. catch a great wave all the way in and notice all the "admirers" on the beach. Pretend they are looking at you with envy and longing. Calmly step off the board, very cool. As one foot comes off the board is pushed into the water and when you take the other foot off the board launches itself out of the water at high speed and smacks you in the head (side of the neck actually - thank god because it would have been a broken nose/cheekbone rather than a bad bruise). My worst surfing injury - getting off the board in 1ft deep water.

5. you take the kids down to the beach for playtime and notice how good the surf is. After earning your brownie points and a bit of sweet talk, you get time off to hit the surf. You notice as you drive in that no one is in the water, even better. Then you realise its high tide and the waves are breaking 2 feet from the sand and completely unrideable. You head home again, having used up all the brownie points.

The hole in the boardies was pretty funny!

Oh, my clothing murphy's law: you have a back zip wettie and at some stage the long string fell off the zip and you are trying to put it on for an early morning surf and there is no one else on the beach and you can't get the stupid zip all the way up no matter how much you contort.

[surf patrol]

Spend 45 mins debating whether to go out because its probably too big. Get suited up, paddle out, take a massive set on the head and get pummled. Go back in and get changed.

[Jimi]

My one is every uni break is stormy cold and onshore every day except the two days I work!

[parrysurf]

Long awaited surf holiday... its going off at home.

That is enough to piss ya off!!!
Had one trip similar results...I was a bitter boy!