Social anxiety beginner surfer

[dtc]

Firstly no one expects to chat in the line up. Yes most/many people will say 'good morning' or 'nice day' (or 'waves are #$$' or whatever), and some might ask about your board or where you are from. But no one is going to force a conversation (well, I guess a very small percentage but not many). The noise of the waves etc make chatting a bit hard anyway, unless you are quite close. You can always sit 3-5 metres/yards from the group and be on your own. I regularly surf without saying more than good morning or just giving the 'man nod'.

As a beginner the hard part is in a crowded line up, or even in a line up with a few other people, and they are taking all the waves and dropping in on you. Then you need to be a bit aggressive ie paddle hard and take off when its your wave and not pull out because someone else is taking the wave. This doesnt involve any conversation usually (it can but you dont have to) but it does mean you need to push for what you want (indeed, push for what you are entitled to - its the others that are being rude, not you). Most surfers arent overtly rude or territorial, but they arent necessarily always polite or 'sharing' either; you need to take what is yours not wait for others to give it to you. Its not a physical aggression by any means, its just being a bit pushy I guess.

Of course, ideal is finding a break that is mainly beginners and/or where there arent many surfers and they are polite and let you have your turn. This is no different to any other beginner.

In short, you dont need to verbally communicate with anyone to surf. There is a bit of body language and anticipation required, sometimes a bit of pushiness; and that can be hard- particularly in a big pack when you dont have the skills. But once you develop your skills and become more confident in the water and on your board, then you will develop these ancillary skills as well.

If you do end up in a line up with someone who is very rude and aggressive and whatever, you really only have the choice of confrontation or moving to a different spot. The latter is easier and less likely to create problems, so just move. Or go in and paddle out at a different time. Its not a failure on your part, its a sensible choice.

Being uncertain in a new environment where you dont feel like you belong and having 100s of things concerning you about your new skills is totally normal. If you are a bit more uncertain than the average person, thats fine as well - no one will know.

(and are you female? As a female you are much less likely to get someone being aggressive towards you. You might get the occasional person trying to chat you up, but ignoring them and staying silent is probably the best option there anyway)

[oldmansurfer]

Right to be in the water....maybe so but it doesn't work out like that. You should strive not to interfere with others surfing. If you accomplish that you will achieve acceptance. But the shyness thing just tell yourself that every single surfer was a beginner at some point

[jaffa1949]

This is odd , the OP who posted about social,anxiety has deleted herself ( Question Mark on this) as anonymous! Since only moderators or the OP can delete a post, I can only hope this OP has not been overcome by her anxiety!
Good wishes to you OP

[surf patrol]

I had a request to delete the the account and posts. I didn't ask for reasons but I'm sure it was nothing to do with the advice given.

[jaffa1949]

No the advice was ok , but anxiety disorders can be concerning and severely limiting for the sufferers!
I worked with many who had anxiety. In my practice I was also a counsellor.

[jaffa1949]

I'm a surfer too and it's very exciting for me! Honestly, I've always had social anxiety, because ever since I was a kid I was very distant from everyone, and I never had any friends. My only hobby was the ocean, the waves and a couple of boards that took me to the very heights of pleasure and freedom. That beautiful moment when the water splashes your face with tiny drops of coolness and you feel an overwhelming passion for life! It's also the danger that makes you anxious and often, especially when I was a beginner,.