tell me a joke

[essex sucks]

gone make me laugh winner gets to be the jester of the form

[Dr Rev]

Not my joke but

What's 2 ft long and keeps a penis warm ??

Man Utd Scarf !!!!

Sorry to offend anyone.

[Sar]

wouldnt usually risk the non-funny tumbleweed moment but....

what the 0 say to the 8?



Nice belt!

[essex sucks]

not bad sar keep them coming

[silky]

A chav walks into the unemployment office.

He walks up to the counter and says:

"I'm fed up sponging off the state. I've been shafting you guys for years and want to make an honest person of myself and get a job"

The person behind the counter replies

"I think i've got the perfect one for you here. It's a job working for a multi-millionaire. He's looking for a chaperone for his gorgeous 21 year old daughter. Basically, you have to escort her to lavish restaurants, go out clubbing with her, be on her arm 7 days a week and stay with her in her huge penthouse to make sure she's ok"

"Yeah ok mate, you're taking the p*ss aren't you?" says the chav

Counter guy goes "WELL YOU STARTED IT!"

[dougirwin13]

A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish.
The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.
Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...
Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!
Gotta love that fairy!

[silky]

Horse walks into a bar

Barman: "Why the long face?"


Bear walks into a bar; "Can I have a pint of......................lager?"

Barman: "Why the big pause?" (paws... geddit?)



Guy walks into a bar

"OW!"


Scotsman, Englishman and Irishman walk into a bar

Barman: "Is this some kind of joke?!"

[Driftingalong]

Not a joke, but I've got a good Limerick:

There once was a queen from Balgaria.
Who's bush was so harry it'd scare ya.
One day a crook named Kanush;
Got lost in that bush.
And, the police are still combing the area.

[essex sucks]

keep them comeing i will say the winner when i get back from hol

[surfer16]

Why was the dyslexic pimp annoyed?

he realised he'd just baught a warehouse

[CheeZee]

Why was the dyslexic pimp annoyed?

he realised he'd just baught a warehouse

..lolololol

[pat42]

I just nicked this off another site:


A man walked into his doctors office, and asked him for 3 viagra pills.

The doctor asked, "Why only 3?"

The man said, "Well, Friday my secretary is coming over, Saturday my girlfriend is coming over, and Sunday my wife is coming home from her vacation.

The doc said, "Thats more than I wanted to know, but here's your 3 pills."

A week later the doctor saw the man at the gas station, his arm in a cast, and sling.

The doctor said, "What happened to you? Did the women all find out about one another?"

The man said, "No, Nobody showed up....."

[CheeZee]

i havnt got any jokes for y'all , im no good at remembering stuff .. guess thats why i kinda work with observational and impulse p*** taking

Sad though cause i get told at least one cracker every day at the counter but just cant fleshing remember them ... damn me and my green 3 second memory ....

sad though cause i get told .....

sad though .......

sad......

[essex sucks]

right them down when u here them

[CheeZee]

...write what down

.. yeh my sis used to tell me to write stuff down but i told her thats called incriminating evidence

i shuold do really .. might have enough material to do a stand up stint somewheres , that would be great

[essex sucks]

i thought u would win this cheeze
woh yeah i am a loacl hero i would like to thank everyone for putting up with me for this long

[.Jen.]

There was a young woman from Ealing
Who had a peculiar feeling
She laid on her back
And opened her crack
And pi$$ed all over the ceiling

[LikeAGromit]

What can turn a fruit into a vegetable?

AIDS.

Bad taste anyone?

[essex sucks]

fleshing hell this is an old post

[Lisa*]

and you didn't choose a winner lol...
okay heres a few...

what do you call a chav who has 9 GCSE's?... a lier

What do you do if you run drive over a chav?... reverse just to make sure

why don't you run over a chav on a bike?... it's probably your bike

thats all my chav ones...

i can't think of any more right now but i'll let you no if i remember.
xx