Surfing Waves

Seriously, I've never actually seen one done that looks "right." My board is too big to duck dive, so I've been trying the roll. I can't seem to do it.

When I turn over and am submerged, my body quickly floats to the surface and forces the board above the water. Pulling the board against me doesn't help. I can tell that if my body acted as an anchor, yes, it would cleanly pull my board through the wave; but being an "anchor" is way harder than it looks.

Looking around the beach, I notice everybody else is doing pretty much the same lame turtle rolls: flip over; board rises above the water a little; and they either lose their board, get pushed far back to the beach and barely roll back in a sketchy manner; or they even get flipped over toward the beach.

Do I just need a smaller body fat %? (LOL, I think fat floats.) I've just never seen a worthwhile turtle roll done--ever--so I have nothing to go on. Anybody have tips or know of a good site/video displaying "proper" technique?

Thanks!

Yes I do, having done them since 1958 learning in front of a Rocky Point DeeWhy,poor turtle roll meant no board, the board was 9' 6''Balsa and even now I turtle roll well.
You need to have your hold nearer the Rose so the angle of the board responds to the wave Pressure by aushing the board downwards.
Timing however is the clue, lots of people just rollover and hang on and let the wave hit them.

Paddle hard and straight at the wave, time it so you are rolling at the nearest second and your board position is being hit by the wave and the nose pushed down further
Too early and you are in the Floating Cork position on top, as you've seen.
too late and Rose up you can be flipped backwards in a somersault.
work on your Timing!

It takes a lot of attempts to become proficient. Once in a while I pull one off perfectly however most of the time it seems to slow me down a little so I do a half duck dive which also takes a bunch of attempts to get good at. Timing is very important. If you go too soon then you float back up. For me it depends on the situation I am in as to how I do it. Most of the time it is a defensive move that I do when the wave is breaking on me but sometimes to go under a whitewater. If you do a search you will find more discussion about it. Usually I push the nose down and dive forward and down and flip over then pull the nose of the board down so that I am braced for the wave with my elbows contacting the board to keep from getting smacked in the face. All of this needs to be right before the wave hits so that you don't float back up. I am overweight but my impression is that it gives me more momentum when handling a board and not a problem with sinking the board. Along with this skill you should be learning how to avoid having to do it.

One more thing weak grip doesn’t work!

Yep, key is to get the nose under and hold on. Try gripping closer to the nose than a lot of guides suggest and pull down. If the nose is below the white water then it will be pushed downwards (due to the nose rocker). If it’s above/in the white water then you learn water is stronger than you.

I actually wax the rails where I grip, no idea if that’s a good idea but I do it.

As Jaffa said, you want to paddle as fast as possible towards the wave and time your roll well. I usually give a swim kick under the water to try to maintain forward momentum just as the wave hits me.

It's never going to be as good as a good duck dive, but you're on a bigger board so can paddle faster to compensate.

A lot of good tips here.
I would just add a small tip, I do the beggining movement like i do for a duck dive. Grab the rails more towards the nose to get momentum, and then just before the white foam comes, i flip the board and hold on hard so that the nose is deeper than the tail.
Somehow it gets easier for me to get the nose deeper on the moment the wave hits me. which just like said here previously, i think makes all the difference, toguether with paddling hard towards the wave.
And offcourse, a lot of practice

yes, grab if farther by the nose, if not the board just tears away from your hands.