Phone contract...help please!!

Hi folks...
Mr Last Minute (Me) has, as usual, left everything to the last minute. I realise I need to get a new phone and contract before I go on holiday and that leaves me (counts on fingers) 1 day to sort it out!!
I'm with Virgin at the moment and they are shite! No signal EVER and they over charge me, the money grabbing bastards.
I mainly need advice on a decent network, I have heard that Orange are similarly crappy but I have no idea.
I'd like a nice phone but preferably a Nokia or something equally bomb-proof (my current one has survived being dropped in spagetti bolognese, in the loo (not a used one
) and being accidently burned (wish I had a photo, it's a reet state)) and a contract that gives plenty of minutes but not too many texts for cheapy-cheap-cheap.
So...post advice, yer phones and there perks and try and beat my phone on survivability!
Ta. ...J...
EDIT:(Can you guess I like using brackets?)
Mr Last Minute (Me) has, as usual, left everything to the last minute. I realise I need to get a new phone and contract before I go on holiday and that leaves me (counts on fingers) 1 day to sort it out!!
I'm with Virgin at the moment and they are shite! No signal EVER and they over charge me, the money grabbing bastards.
I mainly need advice on a decent network, I have heard that Orange are similarly crappy but I have no idea.
I'd like a nice phone but preferably a Nokia or something equally bomb-proof (my current one has survived being dropped in spagetti bolognese, in the loo (not a used one

So...post advice, yer phones and there perks and try and beat my phone on survivability!

Ta. ...J...
EDIT:(Can you guess I like using brackets?)