Surfing Waves

Some of you may have already seen this email doing the rounds, dont think I have seen it on here...I like it anyway

DOG DIARY

8:00 am - Dog food! My favourite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favourite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favourite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favourite thing!

12:00 pm - Lunch! My favourite thing!

1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favourite thing!

3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favourite thing!

5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favourite thing!

7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favourite thing!

8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favourite thing!

11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing!



CAT DIARY

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed
hash
or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations
perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my
strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.

In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.

I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending
comments about "what a good little hunter" I am.

How dare them!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight.

I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.

However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my
confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this
means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this
again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.

The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released and seems to
be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the
guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move.

My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so
he is safe.

For now...

the cat bit reminds me of my freind suzy.

lmao absolute class Sar ..i hadnt seen it

my fav bit ! ..

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

surferdude_scarborough wrote:the cat bit reminds me of my freind suzy.

interesting friends youve got the mate

my fave is "In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. " - so true.

my cats hang out outside. they do hate my dog, and look at him with contempt in their eyes, i am sure of it.

my fav. part

The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released and seems to
be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

uncanny...

our cat has vommed on the carpet 3 times in the last few days - thinks its due to the amount of the woodland population he brings back to eat

outonawave wrote:uncanny...

our cat has vommed on the carpet 3 times in the last few days - thinks its due to the amount of the woodland population he brings back to eat

Well just watch yourself if he's looking all cute at the top of the stairs.

brill