Surfing Waves

Ok basically i would like to know what you guys thought of lap dancers/pole dancers?


The reason i ask is because as well as working as a nurse i have been doing a few shifts in a bar... the other day i covered a mates shift in a "Gentlemens Club". And after talking to the dancers...they are earning in a night what i earn in a month...and as im in a pretty uncomfortable financial position, the money is looking so very attractive. Plus the manager has already offered me a job.


Annnnnnyways, i havent really spoken to anyone about doing it because im not sure how they would take it, plus if i do do it i wouldnt want loads of people knowing. Even though i a forum is very public...none of you know my work/family/friends...so im kind of annoymous! So i wanted to know what you guys think of them?


Do you reckon i should give it go?

Only if there are pics attached.
Joking aside don,t demean yourself.

i would have tooo say noooooooooooooooooooooo because its just degrageing (spelling) yourself. i had a mate that did it and she said it was not good. good pay but not a good thing too do she said

Think what you'll have to put up with from drunken male social rejects.

I know where you guys are coming from, i thought that to begin with...i was unhappy about just working behind the bar in the club...but after seeing what actually happens there and speaking to the dancers, it doesnt seem that bad.

Im was only thinking about doing it for a few months just to help my financial position. I think i could be detached enough to do it because of the money insentive... im trying to save enough money to do Medicine as graduate as well as pay rent etc etc

Hmmmmmmmmm.... this is a difficult one.

I think it's a personal decision. On the one hand, I think if you feel comfortable doing it and don't think you'll have any regrets later on in life then why not? I wouldn't not do it simply because of what other people think.

On the other hand, I think you need to be really careful about what you would be getting yourself into and be aware of the dangers. I used to live with a girl in Manchester who was a professional pole dancer. She made so much money it was unbelievable - she had all the material things she wanted and plenty of holidays, BUT, she ended up being stalked and it all got really serious as the guy broke into our house and attacked her while I was there. He tried to lock her and her room with him and threatened me with a knife. He even cut the phone line so I couldn't call the police. I had to dash upstairs to get my mobile It was really scary.

I don't know how common or rare that sort of thing is... I guess chatting to the girls there and asking a few questions might be a place to start.

I personally think that it is a bit degrading and every woman is worth so much more than that. You're a unique, precious individual and it's a sad state of affairs when society financially rewards women who show a bit of flesh and pander to the needs of certain men... I honestly think that if I had the body (which, unfortunately I don't!) I wouldn't do it, personally, however tempting the money was, because I wouldn't like to be treated like a piece of meat.

Having said all that, I still think it's your right to do it if that's what you want. I'd like to think I wouldn't judge an individual just because they did that sort of thing to help them financially. My only real concerns are that you are young and I don't know how reputable the place is.

Just be careful!

Good points by Thaya...

What may seem like a good short term idea now could come back to haunt you...

(From a guys point of view I wouldn't judge somebody for doing it)

If fat balding blokes were allowed to be pole dancers, I'd do it like a shot.

It's up to you, if it doesn't bother you, and you need the money, then why not. Personally, I don't think it's you being exploited, it's the other way round, you're making good coin from the saddos that pay for it. One of my friends paid her way through university doing it, wasn't a problem for her.

I will now blantantly contradict everyone on here.

It's not necessarily just a matter of short-term "demeaning oneself" or it being a "personal decision".

Moderninsms!

My sister did that xxxxx and that was the start of a long, slipper slide. She's just putting her life back together - my mum still has custody of her kids.

Before anyone screams - yes, I know there are people who do that stuff and it stops there and their life is a little better because of the money. But out of the many people I have (unwillingly) met who were involved with that sector of the "entertainment business" very few fell into that category.

Just my AU$0.02 of course... And I wouldn't have even responded if it wasn't a well known forum member.

Best of luck...
-doug

I completely see where you are coming from dougirwin...

I would like to stress to everyone that at the moment im just thinking about it....it wouldnt even cross my mind if i wasnt in some money trouble.

Its basically a last resort...there are other jobs around and other ways of making money, i guess at the moment it just seems like a good idea because i see it as a quick fix...

Cheers for your opinions on it...

If you'll feel safe, comfortable & happy doing it why not.

It certainly beats staring at a cumputer screen 40 hours a week.

Also consider your future, if you'll be happy looking back on it in 10,20 , 30 years etc.

Just make sure you take the career as far as you want and no further, if you get my drift...

whats more shameful?
being a pole dancer to make your life better.
or
going to a place with pole dancers because you cant get a girl?

so, even if someone you know walks in and sees you dancing, he will probably be as embarrassed as you.

Its your choice,
as long as you dont go too often it should be fine. Not sure about stalkers and all that, talk to the girls doing it, its your best bet.

It is a had decision, it also depends on how bad your financial situation is and how much you like yuor current job.

I'd be very warey. Remember there's no such thing as a free lunch. If it seems too good to be true then it isn't true - it may seem like loads of money for not much effort but I bet you'd end up earning that money big style one way or another.

If you go into it expecting to have to earn a hard living and know all about the scene then fine but don't go into it expecting a free ride and everything to be lovely and nice and fun all the time.

Hmmm the way at i look at it is this: i think that if (big if) i was comfortable enough with my body to do it and i didnt find it degrading then i wouldnt have a problem with it per se. I think you need to ask what your parents/family would think of it though.

Even if i was completely happy lap dancing i know my mum would be really upset about it, my parents are very relaxed and wouldt try to stop me but deep down i know that no father/ mum wants to think of their little girl flaunting themselves to blokes for money every night. So on that basis alone i couldnt do it.

Some people might argue that its none of your parents business (assuming your relatively close to them) and you could lie to them, but if you lie to friends/family about it then that suggests you are secretly ashamed of it.

Personally there is no way in hell i would ever consider it, except with a boyfriend in the privacy of a bedroom

PS

I totally feel you on the money side of things, i'm going to be 16,000 pounds in debt after my undergrad alone. Then i'm doing a 3-4month volunteer job where i somehow have to find money for rent and food. Also need to save a minimum of 10,000 pounds to do my MRes. I'm going to take a year (maybe two) out and work in a call centre, with a bar job at weekends (hopefully) to save the money. Living with my parents hopefully means i wont have to pay (much) rent.

Where there is a will there is a way, without resorting to something your morally not quite sure about. Plus banks are wiling to throw money in the form of postgrad loans to people doing Medicine as they know eventually the likelyhood is that you will be earning a decent wage....

paulS wrote:(From a guys point of view I wouldn't judge somebody for doing it)

To be honest... bet you would... if it was your girlfriend

From this bloke's point of view, intellectually it doesnt bother me. As a mate, I'd be saying 'go for it, who cares what anyone else thinks?' And if you do go ahead, thats exactly what I'll think. No worries.


....But.......

If I was to find out my girlfriend was doing it/had done it, it would tear me apart.

Hypocrisy, I realise, but head vs heart isnt a logical thing.

Thats sort of how i feel about it DBBB...in that theres nothing wrong with it in principle but if it was someone close to me then i'd be gutted!

To be honest Jennie, it sounds like you've already made up your mind.

But then this wouldn't be the first time you've used us as a sounding post for a decision you've already made.

Hell, if you don't like it, you can always quit! It's not like you're condemning yourself to a lifetime of pornographic servitude.

p.s, can I come and watch?

j/k

Agreed DBBB...

If it was my g/f then I would be gutted...though if I met somebody who had done it in the past then I wouldn't judge (has happened)...ridiculous really..

I hear ya libby!

That thing you said about family and friends....i think you hit the nail on the head! Its fairly obvious if i dont want them to know then its something i know they wouldnt feel very happy about it. I know my dad and brothers would probably never look at me the same way again, im especially close to my brothers and i think that alone is enough of a reason to not do it....LET ALONE WHAT MY BOYFRIEND WOULD THINK!!!!



haha elusive fox i havent made up my mind yet....last night i was saying "oh fleshin' it im gonna do it no matter what anyone says"......this morning im umming and ahhing about it big time.


I think you might have just swayed my decision guys....for now anyways. Im still doing a shift a week behind the bar in this club, so i guess i will see what its really like as time goes on. But i think now is not the time to start flaunting my stuff!


DBBB I can completely understand about if your gf was doing it at the time but would it be that bad if you found out your gf had done it?