Surfing Waves

sadly im stuck in halls with a thiefing pikey xxxxx, and ive just about had enough. not only does he take everyones food hes just used the last of my shower gel.

so does anyone have any evil ideas of how to get him back (properly stitch him up) i was thinking of mixing some sort of dye into my shower gel so next time he nicks my gel it turns him pink or some thing a long those lines.

A nice big, tempting cake in the kitchen... laced with a couple of kilos of laxative

Honey instead of shower gel? Or for that matter, super glue or epoxy resin?

Ok the last one is super mean, but if its necessary....

Well a trick we used to play was.

1: when in said persons room scatter a few grass seeds into carpet without them looking.

2: fill bin 3/4 full of water (add fairy liquid or other stuff like miracle grow for extra effect)

3: when person is in their room with door closed prop bin against door, and knock

4: hide around the corner and wait for the swearing to start

In a few weeks the grass should have sprouted, and the carpet will be nasty and slimey.

OR when the person is not in their room and the door is open, dash in and smear fish paste (any type but salmon or pilchard is the best) behind their radiator. (this one is a personal fave)

OR when person has forgotten to lock room and is out on the piss remove all contents of room and set up in common room. Move the common room into their room and have everyone watching telly in their room.

OR one guy at uni had a Mini then a Nissan Micra. With both cars we would wait until he was in bed then a few of us would go and pic the car up and move it to a different location on site, every night.

Thats all I remember right now.

drowningbitbybit wrote:A nice big, tempting cake in the kitchen... laced with a couple of kilos of laxative

Plus if you could add some really hot peppers to it...it'll burn...in and out...

Laxative corn flake cakes, no one can resist them,

just spoke to another flat mate he is going to steal his tooth brush when hes out and take a picture of it stuck up his ass then at the end of term hes going to slide the picture under his door

laxative sounds good and cheap along with the fish paste :lol:

Also have a sh*t and hide it in his room !!
I know its digusting , but he sounds like a right

If hes got a motor then get some fish offal and stick it in a tuppa ware (sp) pot and stick it on the radiator of your room till it starts to ferment(about 2 weeks) then pour said concoction into the gypo's air vents on top of his bonnet.

Or

Get the nastisest porn you can find (dont do this on a uni computer) print it out in a4 then stick it to his door with the strongest glue you can find so it wont ever come off.

Or
Curl 1 off into 1/2 a packet of cerial (after pre warning your house mates) then add a little more cereal on top, then hopefully he will see cereal and put his hand and grab some.

Or
Cut and shape a bar of wax to look like soap if he's a hairy barsteward then when the wax(use cold water x2) meets the hot shower water it will be a right mess

Super Glue is great, where i used to work there was a real tight arse who used to keep all the change from the sandwich run, so we stuck a quid to the floor near his desk, and waited for him to try and pick it up, also works on pavements, find a window seat in a cafe and see how many people try and pick it up, tee hee

i was going to suggest fish and laxatives but they're already been mentioned. the toothbrush sounds interesting. i lived with someone exactly like that in uni halls years ago and it drove me INSANE. i couldn't bring myself to do anything TOO harsh in return though (as much as I wanted to).

i'd definitely go with hiding something stinky behind the heater in his room!

my flatmates in halls used to go out without their keys (cos they didn't want to have to carry them ) then ring the doorbell at 3 or 4 am for me or another girl to let them in. after the first week i took a screwdriver to the doorbell and lowered it a couple of mm from the ringer, so it wouldn't strike on the bell, but you couldn't see a difference. They spent a few nights sleeping in the hall, then miraculously learned the benefits of taking their keys. They also used to use all my milk, so i waited til they were in the kitchen one day then went in, had a huge nasty-sounding coughing fit, then drank from the bottle. that sorted that problem! I also got into the habit of leaving my stereo on full blast, on repeat, when I went to work every Saturday morning, with my door locked, playing GnR or something equally unacceptable to 5 blonde slappers!!!

Ah, the joys of shared living!

Ummm hate to be the voice of reason but how about telling him he's a twat and asking him to be more considerate?















Failing that hair removal cream in the shampoo bottle always works a treat

I also got into the habit of leaving my stereo on full blast, on repeat, when I went to work every Saturday morning, with my door locked, playing GnR or something equally unacceptable to 5 blonde slappers!!!

done that one as well the same guy likes to play his gitar and sing as loud as possible till silly hours in the morning so we would stick my stero on full blast playing 1 song on repeat while we went to the pub

Stick some Viagra in his food before he goes to classes and laugh as he has to stay sat in his seat till hes 'calmed down'

LMFAO... absolutely loving this thread P' and what makes it better is , if you had asked summat like ..i need to sort out this pc problem , or deck out a van ... you woulda got like 3 replies !! .. Buuuut mention the words " i wanna stitch someone up " .. and flesh me , the posts are tripping over themselves to get on thread lololol...

Ahhhh ya bunch of twisted buggers ya , hahahaha .. sooo many class suggestions its difficult to know where to start but id try as many of them as poss .. the poor fecker will leave quietly with a major reality slap .and lolol .possibly a severe social complex .. tuff sheeeeet sounds like a twat .. run immm ragged man !!!

Libby wrote:Ummm hate to be the voice of reason but how about telling him he's a twat and asking him to be more considerate?















Failing that hair removal cream in the shampoo bottle always works a treat ;)

ive tried that one to many times sadly the hair removal wont work as hes bald

CheeZee wrote:LMFAO... absolutely loving this thread P' and what makes it better is , if you had asked summat like ..i need to sort out this pc problem , or deck out a van ... you woulda got like 3 replies !! .. Buuuut mention the words " i wanna stitch someone up " .. and flesh me , the posts are tripping over themselves to get on thread lololol...

Ahhhh ya bunch of twisted buggers ya , hahahaha .. sooo many class suggestions its difficult to know where to start but id try as many of them as poss .. the poor fecker will leave quietly with a major reality slap .and lolol .possibly a severe social complex .. tuff sheeeeet sounds like a twat .. run immm ragged man !!!

i can see this term being very entertianing

When i was a school this guy went on a rampage with a couple of sticks of silicon. He siliconed everthing to the floor/desks (shoes, alarm clocks, books). Very funny....mainly because i wasnt a victim.

Prawns are the best for sticking in air-vents etc and i do like the idea of peroxide in your shower gel (or just use tabasco sauce - he will know he is alive when he rubs it on his old fella/gets it in his eyes etc).

Be sure to keep us posted on the situation (i am keen to hear any stories).