tell me a joke
Posted: Thu Oct 19, 2006 2:33 pmgone make me laugh winner gets to be the jester of the form
Not my joke but
What's 2 ft long and keeps a penis warm ??
Man Utd Scarf !!!!
Sorry to offend anyone.
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tell me a joke
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Posted: Thu Oct 19, 2006 2:33 pmPosted: Thu Oct 19, 2006 3:08 pmPosted: Thu Oct 19, 2006 8:22 pmwouldnt usually risk the non-funny tumbleweed moment but....
what the 0 say to the 8?
Nice belt!
what the 0 say to the 8?
Nice belt!
Posted: Thu Oct 19, 2006 8:39 pmnot bad sar keep them coming
Posted: Thu Oct 19, 2006 8:58 pmA chav walks into the unemployment office.
He walks up to the counter and says:
"I'm fed up sponging off the state. I've been shafting you guys for years and want to make an honest person of myself and get a job"
The person behind the counter replies
"I think i've got the perfect one for you here. It's a job working for a multi-millionaire. He's looking for a chaperone for his gorgeous 21 year old daughter. Basically, you have to escort her to lavish restaurants, go out clubbing with her, be on her arm 7 days a week and stay with her in her huge penthouse to make sure she's ok"
"Yeah ok mate, you're taking the p*ss aren't you?" says the chav
Counter guy goes "WELL YOU STARTED IT!"
He walks up to the counter and says:
"I'm fed up sponging off the state. I've been shafting you guys for years and want to make an honest person of myself and get a job"
The person behind the counter replies
"I think i've got the perfect one for you here. It's a job working for a multi-millionaire. He's looking for a chaperone for his gorgeous 21 year old daughter. Basically, you have to escort her to lavish restaurants, go out clubbing with her, be on her arm 7 days a week and stay with her in her huge penthouse to make sure she's ok"
"Yeah ok mate, you're taking the p*ss aren't you?" says the chav
Counter guy goes "WELL YOU STARTED IT!"
Posted: Thu Oct 19, 2006 10:09 pmA man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish.
The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.
Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...
Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!
Gotta love that fairy!
The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.
Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...
Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!
Gotta love that fairy!
Posted: Thu Oct 19, 2006 10:45 pmHorse walks into a bar
Barman: "Why the long face?"
Bear walks into a bar; "Can I have a pint of......................lager?"
Barman: "Why the big pause?" (paws... geddit?)
Guy walks into a bar
"OW!"
Scotsman, Englishman and Irishman walk into a bar
Barman: "Is this some kind of joke?!"
Barman: "Why the long face?"
Bear walks into a bar; "Can I have a pint of......................lager?"
Barman: "Why the big pause?" (paws... geddit?)
Guy walks into a bar
"OW!"
Scotsman, Englishman and Irishman walk into a bar
Barman: "Is this some kind of joke?!"
Posted: Fri Oct 20, 2006 12:35 pmNot a joke, but I've got a good Limerick:
There once was a queen from Balgaria.
Who's bush was so harry it'd scare ya.
One day a crook named Kanush;
Got lost in that bush.
And, the police are still combing the area.
There once was a queen from Balgaria.
Who's bush was so harry it'd scare ya.
One day a crook named Kanush;
Got lost in that bush.
And, the police are still combing the area.
Posted: Fri Oct 20, 2006 12:48 pmkeep them comeing i will say the winner when i get back from hol
Posted: Fri Oct 20, 2006 1:45 pmWhy was the dyslexic pimp annoyed?
he realised he'd just baught a warehouse
he realised he'd just baught a warehouse
Posted: Fri Oct 20, 2006 2:08 pm..lololololWhy was the dyslexic pimp annoyed?
he realised he'd just baught a warehouse
Posted: Fri Oct 20, 2006 2:09 pmI just nicked this off another site:
A man walked into his doctors office, and asked him for 3 viagra pills.
The doctor asked, "Why only 3?"
The man said, "Well, Friday my secretary is coming over, Saturday my girlfriend is coming over, and Sunday my wife is coming home from her vacation.
The doc said, "Thats more than I wanted to know, but here's your 3 pills."
A week later the doctor saw the man at the gas station, his arm in a cast, and sling.
The doctor said, "What happened to you? Did the women all find out about one another?"
The man said, "No, Nobody showed up....."
A man walked into his doctors office, and asked him for 3 viagra pills.
The doctor asked, "Why only 3?"
The man said, "Well, Friday my secretary is coming over, Saturday my girlfriend is coming over, and Sunday my wife is coming home from her vacation.
The doc said, "Thats more than I wanted to know, but here's your 3 pills."
A week later the doctor saw the man at the gas station, his arm in a cast, and sling.
The doctor said, "What happened to you? Did the women all find out about one another?"
The man said, "No, Nobody showed up....."
Posted: Fri Oct 20, 2006 2:12 pmi havnt got any jokes for y'all , im no good at remembering stuff .. guess thats why i kinda work with observational and impulse p*** taking
Sad though cause i get told at least one cracker every day at the counter but just cant fleshing remember them
... damn me and my green 3 second memory ....
sad though cause i get told .....
sad though .......
sad......
Sad though cause i get told at least one cracker every day at the counter but just cant fleshing remember them
... damn me and my green 3 second memory ....
sad though cause i get told .....
sad though .......
sad......
Posted: Fri Oct 20, 2006 2:36 pmright them down when u here them
Posted: Fri Oct 20, 2006 3:20 pm...write what down
.. yeh my sis used to tell me to write stuff down but i told her thats called incriminating evidence
i shuold do really .. might have enough material to do a stand up stint somewheres , that would be great
.. yeh my sis used to tell me to write stuff down but i told her thats called incriminating evidence
i shuold do really .. might have enough material to do a stand up stint somewheres , that would be great
Posted: Fri Oct 20, 2006 3:44 pmi thought u would win this cheeze
woh yeah i am a loacl hero i would like to thank everyone for putting up with me for this long
woh yeah i am a loacl hero i would like to thank everyone for putting up with me for this long
Posted: Fri Oct 20, 2006 3:59 pmThere was a young woman from Ealing
Who had a peculiar feeling
She laid on her back
And opened her crack
And pi$$ed all over the ceiling
Who had a peculiar feeling
She laid on her back
And opened her crack
And pi$$ed all over the ceiling
Posted: Sun Feb 04, 2007 3:52 pmWhat can turn a fruit into a vegetable?
AIDS.
Bad taste anyone?
AIDS.
Bad taste anyone?
Posted: Sun Feb 04, 2007 4:01 pmfleshing hell this is an old post
Posted: Sun Feb 04, 2007 7:53 pmand you didn't choose a winner lol...
okay heres a few...
what do you call a chav who has 9 GCSE's?... a lier
What do you do if you run drive over a chav?... reverse just to make sure
why don't you run over a chav on a bike?... it's probably your bike
thats all my chav ones...
i can't think of any more right now but i'll let you no if i remember.
xx
okay heres a few...
what do you call a chav who has 9 GCSE's?... a lier
What do you do if you run drive over a chav?... reverse just to make sure
why don't you run over a chav on a bike?... it's probably your bike
thats all my chav ones...
i can't think of any more right now but i'll let you no if i remember.
xx