by .Jen. » Wed Mar 22, 2006 12:55 am
lol PW, surprised you didnt end up half commiting suicide on that one.
Worst one I've had so far... broken ankle/foot that keeps breaking...
1 - Went out on the lash. Wore heals. Got very, very drunk. Left one nightclub, started heading towards another one. Some eejit infront of me threw a bottle on the floor, I trod on a broken bit of glass, fell off the pavement. Got up a few minutes later having nearly p*ssed myself laughing, carried on to the next club and eventually went home, limping slightly.
Woke up at about 8am literally screaming my wobbly things off. Carefully slid down the stairs on my bum, leg in air, hoping that either of my parents were at home. My Dad met me at the bottom of the stairs and nearly fainted when I presented my hideously swollen leg and foot. Both were about three times their normal size and a lovely mixed shade of black/purple/blue.
Apparently a shattered foot and 4 breaks to an ankle will do that.
Not surprisingly, went down to A&E, got x-rayed and got sent up to a ward. Theres me, sitting in a hospital bed, leg raised to ''encourage'' the swelling to go down, and dosed upto the eyeballs with morphine (lovely lovely morphine).
Went home three days later, leg in plaster, with a pair of really crap crutches and a sick not entitling me to 13 weeks off work.
Now my bosses werent really impressed with that, being as I was drunk at the time of injury (and therefore responsible for the injury...), they were even less impressed the second time it happened.
Once again, was out on the lash, this time accompanied by said crappy crutches, 6 weeks after having plaster removed. Misjudged the pavement and flew off it. Wham bam, another break. Apparently broken bones can take a while to heal, and being out of plaster doesnt guarantee that the bones wont break again if you trip awkwardly. Ooops. Luckily, it wasnt too bad the second time, and I got off (un)luckily with a mere 6 weeks off work.
Luckily, the next time it happened id changed jobs, and had just bought my new motorbike. Which I fell off after some dozy cow ran out infront of me when I was on my way home at 11pm on a friday night. Bike landed on top of me, exhaust burning into my leg, and leg pointing in the complete wrong direction. This time, i'd also put my hands out to try and ''break'' the fall, and landed myself with a twisted fracture of my tibia, broken foot (starting to get bored with this broken foot malarky), broken left wrist, broken right elbow and dislocated right shoulder.
The police couldnt get into my treatment room quick enough to breathalize me, and didnt give me the opportunity to tell them that the reason I was on my way home, was to get changed to go out and get p*ssed.
Now, manouvering crutches whilst youve got two arms in plaster is near impossible, so this time I got to say hello to the wheelchair that was to keep me company for a couple of months. NHS issue - grey plastic, rusted chrome and stank as if someone had not only died on it, but had been left to rot for a while. have got a beautiful scar on my elbow from where the surgeons took bits of splintered bone out, and my left leg resembles a tube map.
I quit drinking after the second accident, and sold my motorbike two years after the bike accident, thanks to a few near misses.
I also end up in hospital every time I go on holiday, but thats another long post and im tired
) went in goal, saved a shot and my wrist got bent back a bit to far.
