ways to stitch a flat mate up

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Postby hawaiiSUCKSexceptsurf » Wed Jan 31, 2007 1:34 am

heat up a hanger red hot and push it up his ars3hole all slow like. then sew it closed and keep feeding him and feeding him.
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Postby .Jen. » Wed Jan 31, 2007 2:09 am

Ooh ive got loads, I get bored easily and my work colleagues normally suffer...

I took a huge bar of Cadburys Fruit and Nut in a while back, had 3 pieces from it, left it overnight, in my office drawer and came back the next day to find 6 pieces left. So... licked it, put bogeys all over it and also gave myself a trim downstairs and put the remnants on it.

Put it back in the drawer and didnt tell anyone what id done.

Went in a couple of days later, sure enough, what was left was gone and the wrapper was in the bin. Knocked up a little sign informing the choccie thief that apart from fruit, nut and chocolate, they'd also eaten my spit, bogeys and pubes.

Now nobody touches anything that I take in, and I dont have to put skanky stuff on my things anymore.

Also... try getting hold of some anti-theft strips (like you get on DVD's and Perfume bottles), stick them to anything and everything. The best places tend to be the soles of shoes (smart ones are better, you can stick them just before the heel) and inside rucksacks... they take forever to find.
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Postby Johno » Wed Jan 31, 2007 8:36 am

northswell wrote:Super Glue is great, , also works on pavements, find a window seat in a cafe and see how many people try and pick it up, tee hee


Stick the pound to the floor next to a busy door an see how many people get there heads tawted by people opening the door, very very funy
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Postby Jimi » Wed Jan 31, 2007 12:32 pm

depending on how much you hate him, you could always go for the lice in his bed trick.....

But I'd never suggest that for anyone you ever intend to share a room with.
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Postby lucy » Wed Jan 31, 2007 12:37 pm

HawaiiSucks:
heat up a hanger red hot and push it up his xxxxx all slow like. then sew it closed and keep feeding him and feeding him.
:shock:

Edited coz I am a computer chump. But still, :shock: !
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Postby FishKid Wales » Wed Jan 31, 2007 12:45 pm

hawaiiSUCKSexceptsurf wrote:heat up a hanger red hot and push it up his xxxxx all slow like. then sew it closed and keep feeding him and feeding him.


How very.............................................................























Wu tang :roll:
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Postby lucy » Wed Jan 31, 2007 2:20 pm

ha ha! Wu-Tang Clan.. :lol:
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Postby Phil » Wed Jan 31, 2007 2:44 pm

do you think you wu tang sword can defeat me?
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Postby FishKid Wales » Wed Jan 31, 2007 3:51 pm

Phil wrote:do you think you wu tang sword can defeat me?


Yes :lol:
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Postby WooD » Wed Jan 31, 2007 4:51 pm

I work with a person that really goes out of his way to be an @ss. One day I got a new hotmail account, and then went online looking for gay porno magazines. I found several that wood send a free trial copy out. I had 3 different places send him free copys to his house. He never did say anything about them, were wondering if he might have subscribed?
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Postby Matt_South » Wed Jan 31, 2007 6:32 pm

He never did say anything about them


But hes just started wearing glasses and has blisters on his hands :lol:
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Postby hawaiiSUCKSexceptsurf » Wed Jan 31, 2007 7:44 pm

torcher mothafuka, what?

i fxxkin lay your nuts on a dresser, just your nuts on a dresser, and bang them shits with a spiked bat.
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Postby CheeZee » Wed Jan 31, 2007 10:41 pm

i fxxkin lay your nuts on a dresser, just your nuts on a dresser, and bang them shits with a spiked bat.
... " said Tigger to Whinnie " .. ( a little known excert from poo goes to Compton )

:lol: :lol: :lol:
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Postby .Jen. » Thu Feb 01, 2007 2:10 am

hawaiiSUCKSexceptsurf wrote:torcher mothafuka, what?

i fxxkin lay your nuts on a dresser, just your nuts on a dresser, and bang them shits with a spiked bat.


anyone care to translate? :lol:
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Postby tomcat360 » Thu Feb 01, 2007 2:45 am

I think it's from a Wu-tang Clan song.
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Postby hawaiiSUCKSexceptsurf » Thu Feb 01, 2007 7:40 am

the wu-tang clan, straight from the slums of shaolin new york. the rizzle, the gizzle, old dirty xxxxx strikes again.
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Postby pault » Thu Feb 01, 2007 9:10 am

Ooooh just remembere danother one we used to do to annoying people.

When they come in pissed from a night out, and pass out, or if they leave their door open when they go to bed, sneak in and super glue their hands to their face. It makes for a great laugh in the morning.

Or the old stick the hand in a cold bucket of water when they are asleep, to make them wet the bed, then take pictures and put them around uni.
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Postby Real Pol » Thu Feb 01, 2007 7:39 pm

adrian wrote:
or just use tabasco sauce - he will know he is alive when he rubs it on his old fella



I think all blokes will agree, if you really hate him, adrians idea is the best.

That would kill!
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Postby pault » Wed Feb 07, 2007 8:52 am

Hey Phil Whats the news on pranking your flat mate?
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Postby Phil » Wed Feb 07, 2007 11:59 am

another flat mate decided to bat one off in his milk, i dont think ive laughed so much after watching him drink his porrage

i walked out the room crying with laughter :lol:
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