You know you're Aussie when:

[Jimi]

1. You know the meaning of the word 'girt'.
2. You believe that stubbies can be either drunk or worn.
3. You think it's normal to have a Prime Minister called Kevin.
4. You waddle when you walk due to the 53 expired petrol discount Vouchers stuffed in your wallet or purse.
5. You've made a bong out of your garden hose rather than use it for something illegal such as watering the garden.
6. You believe it is appropriate to put a rubber in your son's pencil case when he first attends school.
7. When you hear that an American 'roots for his team' you wonder how often and with whom.
8. You understand that the phrase 'a group of women wearing black thong's refers to footwear and may be less alluring than it sounds.
9. You pronounce Melbourne as 'Mel-bun'.
10. You pronounce Penrith as 'Pen-riff'.
11. You believe the 'L' in the word 'Australia' is optional.
12. You can translate: 'Dazza and Shazza played Acca Dacca on the way to Maccas.'
13. You believe it makes perfect sense for a nation to decorate its highways with large fibreglass bananas, prawns and sheep.
14. You call your best friend 'a total xxxxx' but someone you really, truly despise is just 'a bit of a xxxxx'.
15. You think 'Woolloomooloo' is a perfectly reasonable name for a place.
16. You're secretly proud of our killer wildlife.
17. You believe it makes sense for a country to have a $1 coin that's twice as big as its $2 coin.
18. You understand that 'Wagga Wagga' can be abbreviated to 'Wagga' but 'Woy Woy' can't be called 'Woy'.
19. You believe that cooked-down axle grease makes a good breakfast spread.
20. You believe all famous Kiwis are actually Australian, until they stuff up, at which point they again become Kiwis.
21. You know, whatever the tourist books say, that no one says 'cobber'.
22. You know that certain words must, by law, be shouted out during any rendition of the Angels' song Am I Ever Gonna See Your Face Again.
23. You believe, as an article of faith, that the confectionery known as the Wagon Wheel has become smaller with every passing year.
24. You still don't get why the 'Labor' in 'Australian Labor Party' is not spelt with a 'u'.
25. You wear ugh boots outside the house.
26. You believe, as an article of faith, that every important discovery in the world was made by an Australian but then sold off to the yanks for a pittance.
27. You believe that the more you shorten someone's name the more you like them.
28. Whatever your linguistic skills, you find yourself able to order takeaway fluently in every Asian language.
29. You understand that 'excuse me' can sound rude, while 'scuse me' is always polite.
30. You know what it's like to swallow a fly, on occasion via your nose.
31. You understand that 'you' has a plural and that it's 'youse'.
32. You know it's not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to handle.
33. Your biggest family argument over the summer concerned the rules for beach cricket.
34. You shake your head in horror when companies try to market what they call 'Anzac cookies'.
35. You still think of Kylie as 'that girl off Neighbours'.
36. When returning home from overseas, you expect to be brutally strip-searched by Customs - just in case you're trying to sneak in fruit.
37. You believe the phrase 'smart casual' refers to a pair of black tracky-daks, suitably laundered.
38. You understand that all train timetables are works of fiction.
39. When working on a bar, you understand male customers will feel the need to offer an excuse whenever they order low-alcohol beer.
40. You get choked up with emotion by the first verse of the national anthem and then have trouble remembering the second.
41. You find yourself ignorant of nearly all the facts deemed essential in the government 's new test for migrants.
42. You will immediately forward this list to other Australians, here and overseas, realizing that only they will understand

[Real Pol]

I used to date a girl from Oz who "sang Acca Dacca". I always thought it was some sort of drinking song like Waltzing Matilda, it was years later that I actually found out what she meant!

Very good Jimi, there was some on there I hadn't seen before!

[Hang11]

When they're old enough when they leave school.....and everyone leaves school at 3.30

[kitesurfer]

When you come behind england in the medals table for the olympics!

KS

[Real Pol]

When you come behind england in the medals table for the olympics!

KS

You know you're English when....

You don't understand the concept of a BRITISH Olympic Team.

[kitesurfer]

When you come behind britian in the medals table for the olympics!

KS

You know you're English when....

You don't understand the concept of a BRITISH Olympic Team.

LOL well spotted!

[Real Pol]

Don't worry it's the roll of the Scots to point these things out.

It's also our job to stand up and shout everytime the 1966 World Cup is mentioned on the telly. I think it's currently being used on 3 adverts; the hovis ad where the kid runs through time, the one where Jack Charltan scores a goal as he walks past some kids and another one I can't remember.

Yup, it's not a pretty job, but it needs to be done.

[Milo]

You know your Ausse when you talk through your nose

[Jimi]

you know you're aussie when you think 15 degrees C is bl#$dy freezing!

[parrysurf]

do any of you Aussies know of your country mate Jason Ellis??

He is a pro skater of years ago..he now is on Faction 28 sirus radio.....he is funny as hell.

One of your mates doing well in the states...he bills himself as the "Future" and plans to take over the radio world.
http://www.teamellismate.com/
Aussie doing country proud.

[devin bull]

you know you are Aussie when you say bench for table..and jumper for sweater..

[kitesurfer]

you know you are Aussie when you say bench for table..and jumper for sweater..

Crikey i didn't realise i was an aussie! KS

[surfaMIKE]

You know you're South African when:

1) If you get mugged once a month, you consider yourself lucky
2) You are pleasantly supprised to find your car where you left it after going to the shops
3) You call a hookah a "hubbly"
4) You call the hood of your car a "bonnet"
5) You call a traffic light a "robot"
6) You can sing the national athem in 4 languages, but only understand 1
7) Vernon Koekermoer is the equivilent of Chuck Norris
8 ) You know you are as safe in your house as you are in a loney alley
9) You hate the ausies but have no idea why
10. You hate the americans but also dont know why
11) You started carrying a knife to protect yourself when you were 5 years old
12) You call flip flops "slops"
13) You will drive 1000km just to get a glimpse of snow
14) You think a jacket is a forein object
15) You consider someone mad when they are wearing long pants in winter
16) Anything below 10 degrees celsius is considered the ice age
17) You call a barbeque a "braai"
18) "Bru" means brah or bro
19) "Vaai" means lets go even though you dont know that its portugese
20. "Shot" can mean hello, I agree with you, bye, or anything else that comes to your mind
21) You know who Nelson Mandela is
22) You have a fit when you have to pay the waiter 10% of your bill, but you will easily pay 10 times that much just for beer
23) You call a pick-up a "bakkie"
24) You call your father a "ballie"
25) You know you do not have a future and will be poor if you are white because the goverment is racist (sorry its true)
26) You are rich when you drive a BMW or Mercedese and will make the utmost effort to p#ss other people off about it by driving like an idiot on the road
27) You cant understand the Brits because their accent is too thick
28) You think the Aussies are weird people with weird animals on their weird continent
29) You sound like a retard to a foreiner
30) You call leather shoes "vellies"
31) You call a mini-bus a "kombie" or "taxi"
32) Corruption and bribery is acceptable
33) You produce money instead of your drivers licence when getting stopped by a cop
34) You have an electric fence, security cameras, razor wire, six big viscious dogs, a 44 magnum, a 12 gauge shotgun, a ten foot wall, burglar bars on every window, a full time security guard, and a safe house on your property and you think its normal to have this much security, but yet you still get broken into because the robbers dug under your fence, wall, and razor wire. Sprayed your cameras. Poisoned your dogs. Cut your burglar bars. Bribed the security guard with weed. And your not allowed to shoot the F@#$% because you will get charged for murder even if they shot first

Yup South Africa is a wonderful place, and you know what? I dig it here, and staying here till I die because its an awesome country. Not to mention we have some of the best waves in the world all to ourselves

[Milo]

You know your English, ?
Actually i have no idea what an English man is anymore

[Thibb]

You know you're Aussie when you think Sydney and Melbourne are different worlds...