Surfing Waves

hello everyone !
about myself :
im a beginner surfer ,
height : 183 cm
weight : 63 kilos
used to surf on a 7' softboard for 2 summers. this summer i bought a 5'11 softech and honestly i feel myself improving much faster and better than the 7'.
now to my problem.
i seem to have a problem with commiting to a wave , i surf up to 2 feet unbroken waves and everything is fine but higher than that and i just sit at the lineup and chicken out at the last second and im aware of the risk of getting a risky wipeout and it is better to paddle hard
but i dont know what is the cause of this.
whether its my level of surf or is it me just being a coward i seem to get in my own way of progress and having fun.
i need help with getting myself mentally commiting to a wave.
any help will be appreciated

First of all it takes time to learn to surf so don't expect to suddenly be able to do anything surfing. My recommendation for fear of larger waves is to stay on the waves you feel comfortable with but go about 3 feet deeper into the lineup than you feel comfortable with. So surf waves that the size doesn't scare you and go to where you would normally lineup and then paddle three feet closer to the peak or past the peak if you are already there. Once you can negotiate that go another 3 feet deeper on the wave. This forces you to get used to a later takeoff which is what you need for a bigger wave quite often. But you are getting used to it on waves where the size doesn't freak you out.

1) A beginner shouldn't be on a 5'11" board especially if you can't "surf" chest high waves ( and taller than the board itself ). You need to go back to your 7 footer until you can conquer your problem.

2) As your name says " Pearlingexpert ", do you enjoy pearling or in total fear of pearling ? What steps do you do to avoid pearling ?

3) When you do " wipe out " on a 2 foot wave, what happens ? Are you okay afterwards ?

actually my name is just something i wrote randomally haha.
usually i no longer pearl , and if i do its 1/8 of waves i catch that it happens , i keep my chest up , i lie where im supposed to be on the board, and for the third question i dont wipe out on 2 foot waves if im indeed falling its afterwards while already surfing the wave and that is also something that dont happen quite often.
as for my board i feel more comfortable with the 5'11 which is also a soft if i didnt mention it, i dont know exactly why but i seem to learn better about turning in the wave and gaining speed on that board than the 7'

So your 5'11" board is good.
You are not pearling.
You hardly wipe out.
You are turning on the wave.
2 foot waves are fine,but 3 foot waves are not.

Questions:

1) What happens when you do get up on the 3 footers ?
2) Is the hesitation due in part to the "eyes on you" phobia. That other good surfers in the line up are watching you and you don't want to mess up the take off ?
3) Right before you chicken out, where are your eyes focused at ?

1. well , i kinda dont. right now im aiming for that 2-2.5 foot waves and even if im going on a 3 foot day surf after an hour of not getting any waves due to problem im just surfing a little closer to the shore.

2.i dont think so, i dont really care about falling or looking foolish infront of them, after all im no kelly slater im still learning.

3.i seem to look forward or to the sides to see if the wave is clear and im not dropping in on someone or someone is dropping on me, but its when the wave is getting steep and i feel like im gonna flip over than catch the wave that i stop myself from paddling and give up on this wave

pearlingexpert wrote: but its when the wave is getting steep and i feel like im gonna flip over than catch the wave that i stop myself from paddling and give up on this wave

1) A Long(er) board can get on the wave BEFORE it breaks. A Short(er) needs to catch the wave AS it breaks. ( of course, depending on the wave and/or beach break conditions it changes )

2) Are you Kicking with your legs as you paddle ?

3) Instead of panicking and death grabbing the rail to pull back the nose up, how about slamming the throttle down to speed up and see what happens ?

2. not usually because most of the times i catch the waves without kicking , but if it does all the difference in bigger waves i will start to kick everytime to get used to it.

3. well, tommorow im going to a 2.5- 3 foot day so i will try this and come back with what happend
i think i will take the 7' just to see how i react to bigger waves with this board

ok so i went with both my boards , and to the conclusion :
im actually more clumsy with the 7'
i noticed a bad habit of mine which is grabbing the rails when i pop up and i worked on fixing this,
i learned to put my weight forward while paddling with my hands and legs for waves, and basically i think im just a coward because i cant seem to break through that barrier of going for the wave , even tough im in the best position possible

However you determine the best position possible, that position will change as you learn to surf. And what's wrong with sticking to smaller surf? You're still pearling 1 out of 8 waves you surf. You are just in the infancy of learning to surf. It takes time. Got to spend more time learning and if you have spent more time then get some lessons. Someone who can watch you and tell you what you are doing wrong is more likely to help you than us trying to guess what's going on.

When riding the longboard It may help to "angle your take off." When the board is moving down the line with your weight over a rail the drop can be controlled to be more gradual and less scary. Try it on the 2 foot waves and move up when you're comfortable.