Surfing Waves

Years ago there was a hilarious piece in the New Yorker called "Lord, Please Don't Let Me Die in a Funny Way." Thought of this yesterday after a strong low tide backwash caught my board broadside (yes, I know) as I was walking in to shore. Sent me and my ass banging onto a rock just under the surface. Hurt. Didn't know it was going to keep hurting. Now I have a bruise and a bump on one of the less dignified areas of my person.

Just a while ago I was telling some freshman surfer not to worry too much, that they would eventually get knocked around a bit, but that bruises were cool. Well, sometimes. Not this time. There could not be a more appropriate way for a kook to get hurt, I have to say. I would feel less like hiding in the woods if I knew there were others who'd had similar experiences, and I invite the stories now.

Especially from the coolest of you. Because no one ever started out cool.

Backwash is tricky stuff. Navigating backwash efficiently is a true sign you aren't a kook anymore. My kook story was from long ago when I was surfing my 6'10" single fin board with no leash. I was having fun and noticed a nice looking girl pointing at me or at least I thought it was me, but there were other surfers out in the water. I thought "OK I am going to ride the next wave all the ways to the beach and jump off on the sand and that will impress that girl". So I had a pretty decent ride and rode it all the ways to the beach and the wave was breaking right onto the sand so I thought "ok I go this" but the wave decided to lurch up suddenly at the shoreline and flipped me up in the air and my board flipped over and landed on the dry sand where I was headed to land right on the fin. I did my best to try to stop the carnage and actually my pride was hurt more but I did contact the fin solidly and if it was more one way or the other there might have been much more disastrous results.

Those guys who try to casually throw their boards off a pier, quickly follow up by throwing themselves off the pier, and then promptly land on top of their board hit the very uncool, go-back-to-Iowa mark.

Ok so here is another one from me. I was surfing a place called Mahelona bay at it required a jump off the boulders to get in. The path I followed on the one time that I surfed it before was over huge boulders that were covered with seaweed. This time I followed the same path right behind my friend Mark. He jumped in and I slipped and rolled down the boulder that was maybe 4 to 6 feet out of the water. It was covered with seaweed so I figured no one saw me and I was in the water and good to go. We were out surfing small waves with maybe about 4 to 5 foot faces. I saw something go by real fast under water and watched closely to see what it was and it came back by very fast again and I could see it was a gray reef shark which don't usually bother us surfing but it had it's fins down and was swimming rapidly and erratically So I said "Mark! Did you see the shark? It seems angry." He said "Yeah! Maybe we better go in." So we go in and we are walking back to his car where his girlfriend is waiting and she is screaming something that sounded like "Should I call the ambulance?" I asked Mark if he could understand what she is saying. He said "Look at yourself!" I looked down and saw little rivulets of blood pouring down my chest from little scratches I received rolling down the boulder. So I had to explain to Mark who was so not a kook, how I kooked out and fell off the boulder instead of jumping off.

Post surf entering a warung for breakfast and stomping my feet on the ground to lose the sand. The upside down bottle cap was patiently waiting just there...

Nobody outside of Indo or tropical surf locales could realise how risky that bottle cap injury could in terms of septacemia. Maybe other places when their sewers overflow onto the beach

jaffa1949 wrote:Nobody outside of Indo or tropical surf locales could realise how risky that bottle cap injury could in terms of septacemia. Maybe other places when their sewers overflow onto the beach

I was lucky there was no infection, but it kept me out of the water long enough..

This really is doing my heart good, folks. Thanks so much. Heart's doing well. Butt's still tender.

Tudeo, that bottle cap cut looks enough like a bite that I think you could embroider your story a little if there's anyone you want to impress.

I was such a shy guy but pretty tough physically. The mental pain was always worse when I kooked out. I hated being the kook. So glad when I moved out of that category.

When I first started surfing all the guys I surfed with had been surfing for years before I started so many of the guys I surfed with were close friends but all well past the kook stage. I was the lowly kook in the group but lucky to have them to advise me although they really didn't give me much advice just a few things. We all learned from watching each other

Having gotten my first board at 47 and not really started surfing with any regularity for another ten years, I have no illusions about ever moving out of the category. Just want to work on more stylish wipe-outs and injuries.

So much of surfing is taken for granted sometimes even by surfers. Wiping out is part of surfing and something you can learn to do better if you look at it from that perspective. Very likely all of the better surfers are also better at wiping out or they would have been injured so much they never would have gotten better. Knowledge of the ocean also helps to keep injuries down. Knowing that there is back wash and that you have to look out for it in certain areas will help to keep you from being injured. It's not a random thing, backwash occurs in certain conditions and you need to be aware where those conditions are at the beaches you go to. When in the ocean you should strive to have a state of calm vigilance. Calmly keep track of what is going on around you. Are there obstacles?...people/ surfboards/ rocks/ reef/ waves/ backwash/ currents/ great white sharks....etc

Also backwash can be helpful and fun. At some breaks you can ride the backwash out.

Little backwash can cause you to end up in the hospital http://www.grindtv.com/surf/video-shows-surfer-lakey-peterson-breaking-her-ankle/#Kw9EoXPdZU0IRXis.97 Big backwash is even more dangerous http://magicseaweed.com/news/the-most-insane-backwash-launch-youve-ever-seen/10290/

Ending my last sesh I walked for the last 30 feet in the shallows with the board on my head. I looked back at the break one last time and stepped in a hole. I went straight down and felt the board smack my head.

Jeez...I thought I was beyond that stuff!

Probably the third time I went out surfing alone without a lesson, I got hit in the ear by my own board and saw stars. Super embarrassing, I went down like a sack of potatoes. A babe of a guy ran in to save not me, but my board. I get that he was trying to control it so it didn't hit me again but still. No love for the wounded? What's worse is when I asked him if my ear was bleeding, he looked inside and said "nah, just a little wax."

thanks dude.

Also, there's always the beloved belly flop which I've been known to do quite often. I do a nice starfish pose falling into it too. It tends to happen if I'm too far forward and start to pearl after standing. it also tends to happen with a bare belly when I'm not wearing a wetsuit. kookiekrisp!

I once got a cut from my fin into my large toe, right besides the nail. Lots of blood and hurting swelling for three weeks.

But the kookiest was similar to one above in my first year - I judged backwash/shorebreak wrong and while walking out in knee high water, was thrown face forward into the sand and got a big bruise on my forehead. I hope I have learned from it...

I broke my jaw in a wipeout the end of this past May....broken just below the ear and again across the point of the chin, clean through in both spots....happened when the wave I was on closed out and I wiped out and got tumbled.....someething that I've done without incident many times but this time the board apparently caught me in the jaw when I was getting tumbled. Came up and had blood all over the place and had to make my way in from about 250m. Drove home, took a shower and went to the hospital where I had surgery and stayed for a week, 3 days in ICU following the surgery. Not really kooky, just an accident, but thankful that the board did not knock me out. 6 weeks of liquid only diet, 4 weeks of soft foods only that can be swallowed without chewing, 5 broken teeth, two of which required root canals done 10 weeks following since I couldn't open my mouth wide enough until that point. 14 weeks on now and the doctor has cleared me to surf a couple weeks ago (I did sneak out a couple of times) but told me to "take it easy" so its been longboards and small waves on my comeback trail.