Non Surfing Partner Problems?????

[jaffa1949]

OMS posted this link
viewtopic.php?f=6&t=25785.
Now if your partner is raising any of these points, they might be nice people, but they are not a keeper if you are seriously addicted to surfing.
They are seriously self centered enough to be genuinely Peed off by your self centered need to surf = conflict ahead and continuing episodes of me versus you!
Explaining why you need more than one board to a non surfer is like explaining why you need more than one golf club to a non golfer!
Then try to explain why sitting on the beach hanging out is just plain dead boring even more so should the surf be running .
BTW hanging out on the beach getting rays means a good chance of getting skin cancer later, and see how well you go with this, girls who continually tan look on average 10 years older than those who didn't and have no skin damage!
A repair thing to do is teach your partner to swim and then body surf then maybe boogie board.
Then they will run off with a better surfer.
Being able genuinely communicate well and taking time to share other aspects of a life together would be a good starting point.
Occasionally letting go of a surf for something else, there will always be another surf!
However if I heard the words "my partner won't let me go surfing" I would be in the market for a new partner promptly.
How you relate to each other is a choice and has movable goalposts so the better you talk to each other the better you relate.
Being in a relationship with a surfer is a lifestyle choice that can be greatly rewarding.

Fun points to consider,
the social occasions where the entire Pacific Ocean you have stored in your nasal passages since your last surf, flush out at your partner's major social event!
Your car has that wonderful aroma of manky wetsuits!
You go deaf for a number of days until your ears clear!
+ the whole set of items mentioned in OMS link

[Big H]

About the car....hahahhaa....it looks like I dragged half the beach inside and smells like the dank near moldy neoprene bits and pieces in the corners and under the seats (reef boots....wheeewwww!!!)

I broke my wife in as a golfer when we were dating....and I am a chef which means at last count I had 80+ golf clubs and over 100 knives....all with a specific purpose and I "need" every last one of them!!!!

She lets me have my fun without comment.....conversely, I am not to talk about her shoes or handbags......we keep the peace!

[drowningbitbybit]

My Mrs isn't a surfer... she's terrified of water and won't even go in the ocean. Is this a problem? No. Surfing is definitely my time.

Would she ever not let me go for a surf? Ha, the other way around - Sunday morning and she's saying to me "are you going for a surf? Are you giving me some peace and quiet for a couple of hours"

[drowningbitbybit]

She lets me have my fun without comment.....conversely, I am not to talk about her shoes or handbags......we keep the peace!

Every time I mention getting a new board to my Mrs, she gets all excited and starts planning a new pair of shoes

[oldmansurfer]

Well I thought it was a funny bit that original article. But when I met my wife we both surfed. She however laid off it a bit after taking a fin to the calf. It wasn't so bad but I almost died (carrying her 75 yards down the beach). We both quit surfing for a while. Now she joins me one of my two days at the beach riding a sponge. I have her 6'2" board but rarely use it. I weigh more than twice what she does so it's a bit too small for me. We both scuba dived too or so I thought I almost dumped her because she kept postponing our first scuba outing. I finally asked her WTF??? She was afraid I would not like her if I found out she wasn't scuba certified. I arranged for her to get scuba diving lessons as a wedding gift. She got certified on our honeymoon

[waikikikichan]

Wan't to lose or get into a big fight with your girl friend ? ......... take them surfing. When i was dating my wife, it was hard to get her to take off on the set waves. She always pulled back when I said "Go !". " But I was scared I couldn't make it and get hurt " she'd say. I would respond " You got to trust me, don't you trust me ? Sometimes she said she rather sit on the beach than me stress her out.

Now 8 years later and one Roxy Waikiki surfing classic 1st place trophy , she calls me off of the good set waves. Sheesh.

video credit to my friend Jim Walsh.

[BaNZ]

Problem is that my partner isn't good at ANY sports. Just no hand eye coordination.

She is like this kid here.


She wasn't impressed when I ordered 7 wetsuits to try. Claims the smell is horrible and she feels nausea. Tells me off for putting them on the bed and then dump them on the floor.

When I go surfing with the other girls, they love the wetsuit smell of my car.

[BaNZ]

She lets me have my fun without comment.....conversely, I am not to talk about her shoes or handbags......we keep the peace!

Every time I mention getting a new board to my Mrs, she gets all excited and starts planning a new pair of shoes

I wish I have as many surfboards as my missus have in shoes.

[benjl]

I don't think anyone will win that competition, but at least I've been through my boards in the last year than my gf has in shoes hahaha.

In all seriousness though, this convo topic is ironic timing as we just had the long chat in the weekend about my
Time surfing and how I need to prioritise her more and spend time
On the beach with her than surfing etc. this is all coming from the girl who introduced me to surfing and then hated it that in the first lesson I was up on my feet and she was bailing (despite being a 'surfer' before) lol

[Big H]

I believe Unc Jaffa here read into your comment in another thread which in turn was the inspiration for this one....apparently you have a choice to make....

[jaffa1949]

Uncle Jaffa is here to help, believe it or not along with my Chiropractic clinic I ran a successful Cognitive Therapies counselling service.

I do it for corporations. Two a year which. Funds the the surf trips!

There was nothing ironic about the timing of this thread , I picked up on two different posts and off I went!

[Big H]

Wan't to lose or get into a big fight with your girl friend ? ......... take them surfing. When i was dating my wife, it was hard to get her to take off on the set waves. She always pulled back when I said "Go !". " But I was scared I couldn't make it and get hurt " she'd say. I would respond " You got to trust me, don't you trust me ? Sometimes she said she rather sit on the beach than me stress her out.

Now 8 years later and one Roxy Waikiki surfing classic 1st place trophy , she calls me off of the good set waves. Sheesh.

video credit to my friend Jim Walsh.

Dude is that you hanging HEEL!?!? I've never even seen anything like that.....that's awesome!

[BoMan]

You go deaf for a number of days until your ears clear!

Come again?

With my wife it's all about the sharks. Even though I have never seen one at my break in 40 years, it IS in the red triangle and I get a steady diet of comments...

"Is your insurance paid up?"
"Come watch a Nat Geo program....Shark Fest."
"No,No,NO...you are not taking our daughter...I want to be a grandmother some day!"

[benjl]

Did you actually run a couples counselling service Jaffa? That was also on the list of things that was suggested for us to look in to.. Lol any tips?

[OlegLupusov]

Nobody told me that the car smells rubber. I drive a convertible and keep the wetsuit in a plastic box. So, not sure whether the car actually smells.
I teach my gf surfing but the first lessons were a struggled. Many kicks in the the face and all messed-up pop-ups blamed on me.

I paid for three private lessons for her and continued pushing in the whitewater. A sort of fun but she has no intentions to move on to surfing in the green water on her own. And pushing could be more tiring than surfing. So, doing both on one day could too much exercise.

[dtc]

Last time my wife saw me surfing she said 'oh, you can stand up, I didn't know you could do that'

Normally she stays in bed and I'm back by (late) breakfast. But I haven't done too many trips - when I surf I don't drive more than 10 min from the house. So that helps I guess.

[drowningbitbybit]

Last time my wife saw me surfing she said 'oh, you can stand up, I didn't know you could do that'

My Mrs doesn't ever watch me surf, but a few months ago we were in Byron and she watched me paddle out and was all impressed that I could duck dive... I'm lucky that the bar is set very low.

[oldmansurfer]

My Mrs says "You had a nice wave", meaning I rode it all the way to the beach

[jaffa1949]

Last time my wife saw me surfing she said 'oh, you can stand up, I didn't know you could do that'

Normally when I surf I don't drive more than 10 min from the house. So that helps I guess.

Lakes Burley Griffin or George?

[dtc]

Last time my wife saw me surfing she said 'oh, you can stand up, I didn't know you could do that'

Normally when I surf I don't drive more than 10 min from the house. So that helps I guess.

Lakes Burley Griffin or George?

Huh. My office is across the road from and overlooks Burley Griffin and not a day goes by when I don't think 'if that was the ocean, this would be the best place to work ever'. Then I feel depressed.