Dear Mr Bamf64, Uncle Jaffa has some sound words of advice for you.
All boards get dinged, be they short boards, longboards, boogey boards any of them, when you buy a used board it comes complete with its own pre-loved history etched in its very fibreglass.
Some dings are minor and do not need fixing others warrant a repair find out what you've got, post a picture here and learn which is which.
The nose and the tail usually have more dings than elsewhere because that's where the most impacts occur.
But don't stress about it, the price you paid on your student high school budget seems a lot, and in relative terms it is! But based on the pictures you posted of the other board that you returned it was a fair price.
Finding out how to repair your board is one option on how to deal with this it teaches us how to conserve our resources.
Now about your stressing, if you find that you get stressed easily talk to someone you know who is sympathetic and they can help you to become at ease with situations like this.
Breaking a board is not all that bad, just expensive and I know a little hard to explain to parents who buy them for your birthday, but is hasn't or probably won't happen, particularly since you are going to learn what dings need fixing and those you can leave.
Believe me no board or physical object is worth even talking about killing yourself. I put a bit of advice here, if the thought of this is genuine please talk to a counselor as soon as you can. Attempts or thoughts of suicide over issues like this are not clear thinking and friends need to assist you in clearing them. The crew here on the forum are friends.
Many of them are heroes in their own right and if you scratched beneath the surface, you would find them dealing with major health and mental (like depression and bi polar) problems and still surfing.
Look at people like Bethany Hamilton who lost an arm to a shark and is competing on the World Tour. Absolutely courageous, I believe you can be too.
BTW I go into hospital tomorrow for a biopsy to see if I have cancer, so I have to take a little of my own medicinePM me if needs be!
