grrr I hate when people get their wetsuits in a wad. Not everyone feels that surfing is a replacment for testosterone. For me surfing is about having fun and enjoying the ocean and of course catching that one perfect wave. Here's some good advice for you:
For easy breaks, almost always good you can hit up Half Moon May (HMB) or Surfer's Beach (near Moss Beach).
Linda Mar in Pacifica is also very consistant and easy, tends toward the small side but honestly it's one of my favorites for the lack of annoying surf stoke that makes everyone into assholes.
In Santa Cruz Cowells Beach is good, right by the jetty.
Bolinas up north of the San Francisco Area is also awesome.
Avoid the open shores so if you see a deserted beach with lovely waves and think hey why not? The why not is either wicked rip tides or sharks or raw sewage or all 3.
take it easy,
k